3 Easy Strategies to Embed Social Emotional Learning (SEL) into Your Classroom With Abby Moehringer

Sara

You’re listening to episode number 213 of the Stellar Teacher Podcast. Today, we are talking all about social and emotional learning, otherwise known as SEL with my special guest Abby from Mrs. Mo’s Modifications. Abby is a special education teacher turned behavior specialist, who loves to support teachers and students with all things behavior. She is really passionate about making it easy for teachers to embed SEL into their classrooms, and that’s what we’re going to talk about today. Now during our conversation, Abby really highlights and explains what SEL is, and spoiler alert, it’s way more than character education. She also talks about why it’s so important, and what happens when we don’t focus on SEL in our classrooms. But the highlight is when she shares three really easy strategies that you can put in place, starting on the first day of school, to make sure that you are supporting students in this important area. Let’s go ahead and jump into the show.

Teaching literacy is tough, but with the right tools, you can be not only good, but great; amazing. I’m talking off the charts, impactful. Hey, I’m Sarah Marye, a literacy specialist with over a decade of experience working as a classroom teacher and school administrator. Tune in each week to this podcast to hear no fluff, lesson ideas and strategies that will help you feel confident in your abilities to truly grow your students as readers. Are you ready? Let’s dig in.

Sara

Hi, Abby, welcome to the show. I am so excited to have you on today.

Abby

Hi. Thanks for having me. I am so excited to be here.

Sara

So we are going to talk about a topic today that I think is really going to resonate with my audience, and that is social emotional learning, which I know is such an important part of education, something that probably does not get a lot of attention or enough attention. But before we do that, I know you have your own podcast, so I’d love to know a little bit about your podcast, kind of how you got started. I always love connecting with other podcasters.

Abby

Yeah, yeah. So it’s new, and I’m so excited, because I just binge podcasts all day. So when I was thinking about kind of something I wanted to do, I was like, I think a podcast would be great, and I absolutely am loving it. So it’s called Autism Academy 360 and I do it with a cohost, Lisa Holiday of Chalkboard Superhero, and it’s for parents and teachers who have autistic kids in their lives. And we talk about different teaching strategies, different behavior strategies, and it’s just a lot of fun, and I love getting to share some of my knowledge.

Sara

That’s awesome. We’ll for sure, link to your podcast in the show notes. I know when I was in the classroom, I had several students that did have autism, and I felt like I never knew exactly how to best support them, and I’m like, man, it would have been great to have a podcast like yours to use as a resource.

Abby

Yeah, hopefully I can help some other teachers that are feeling the same way as you would have been.

Sara

So let’s jump in and talk about SEL. I know that I feel like at least in the last five or six years, SEL has kind of become this really big buzzword in education. Can you kind of give us an overview of what SEL is and why it is so important?

Abby

Yeah, I definitely agree with you, it’s becoming a buzzword, and I think for good reason. It’s so great to see it taking a priority. And I always like to use the analogy that you can think of SEL as kind of like the seeds, and the flower that blooms from that is your mental health. So they are connected, they’re related, but they are very different. I know that we as educators have so much on our plates, and we don’t want to also be mental health professionals. So I just want to make it clear that they are different, but they are connected. And really it’s the education of some lifelong skills. And Castle is an organization that’s like the gold standard for SEL and they focus on five different areas: self awareness, self management, social awareness, relationship skills and responsible decision making. So when you break it down like that, it seems like overwhelming, almost like that’s a lot of things, but they just have a lot of really good information. And when you break it down, it doesn’t have to be scary.

Sara

Yeah, and it’s one of those things where I think about like me as an adult, like I feel like I am working on my own self awareness and relationship skills and all of those things. And so I always go back to how important it is for us to give those tools to their students. I’m like, Oh man, like my life would be so much different if I had so much more self awareness when I was eight or nine, as opposed to figuring it out as an adult.

Abby

Okay, I say that all the time. So I am someone who was high performing, type A, firstborn daughter, and I have anxiety -shocker. And I think if I had been given some of these skills, like you’re saying in elementary school, I wonder how my adulthood would have been different, and I wouldn’t now be having to, like, learn these strategies myself.

Sara

Yeah, absolutely. I also appreciate how you highlighted the fact that I know this was a misconception that I had, is that when I was thinking about, you know, am I teaching SEL, focusing on SEL, it was a huge emphasis on the character development side of things, right? Like we’re learning how to be empathetic, we’re learning how to be responsible. But there is this whole other relational aspect, where it’s like peer to peer relationships, like the self regulation, self awareness, all of those things that has kind of some things to do with the character development. But like, SEL is not just character development, so I love that you highlighted that. Can you tell us a little bit about your own experience with teaching SEL in your classroom, and kind of how this became something that is really important to you?

Abby

Yeah, so when I was in the classroom, I was a special ed teacher in an inclusive classroom. And because of that, we were kind of forced to have a big focus on SEL just to create that classroom community. And in my district, I was so lucky, I actually piloted an SEL tier one curriculum, which I don’t think it’s very well known that there’s actually SEL curriculums out there. So it was really nice that we were able to do that, and the year that we really intentionally did that, I saw a huge change. Kids were just so much more respectful to one another. It resulted in less behaviors, and it was really great.

And then most recently, I was in the role of a behavior specialist, and I so often would recommend these replacement behaviors, and I realized the kids just didn’t have them. They didn’t have the coping skills, they didn’t have the ability to identify emotions. And I was able to work really closely with the SEL coach in my district, and we would tag team kids and come up with behavior plans together to really teach these skills that the kids need. And it was, it’s like, when you can bring behavior strategies and SEL together, it’s just, it like, explodes the skills of the students. It’s really cool to see.

Sara

Yeah, I think it’s interesting how so often I feel like we want to do things in isolation, right? Like, this is SEL, this is behavior, this is reading, this is whatever. But it’s like, we don’t, like, even as just adults, like, we don’t operate within buckets or silos. And so I think it’s so important to recognize that everything is interconnected, and SEL is connected to student behaviors, but it also can be tied in easily to academics and all of those things, just the interconnectedness of it. Can you talk a little bit, and I know you kind of highlighted it on this some, but how is SEL connected to student behaviors and outcomes? And really, if you could kind of explain what could happen if teachers don’t focus on SEL? What is sort of the impact if this is something that we just ignore in our classroom?

Abby

Right. Yeah, it’s such a good question. So like I said, SEL can teach replacement skills. So I’m thinking, you know, if you have a student who is constantly getting frustrated and ripping up their paper, you have to teach them something else to do when they get frustrated, right? So it doesn’t matter if you have a reinforcement system, and you can be dangling that carrot, something that they really want to but if they don’t have the skills, they’re just not going to be able to do it. You could offer me a million dollars to run a marathon right now, and I could not do that. I mean, maybe a few years ago, but today, absolutely not. So you have to be given those skills, and you have to practice them too to be able to use them in the moment. And that SEL also teaches coping skills, so that is a huge part of it. And I like to always highlight that all students have emotions, right? So we all feel emotions. It’s just how we handle them, using the coping skills. So SEL can really help those who are lacking those skills to learn more appropriate ones. And I think that’s pretty clear. If we don’t teach that explicitly in our classroom, you know, you’re going to have a lot of these big behaviors that we are seeing. You know, there is an uptick in those. And I think that if we were able to teach these more strategically, it would help. Obviously, it’s not going to eliminate all behavior, but it’s like one more thing that the students can grab onto.

And then the other part that I really love about SEL, and you sort of talked about this with the relational piece, is that it helps them learn skills to appropriately make and keep friends. And that also can help with behavior, because when you are more connected to your peers, you’re going to be less likely to goof off, to be disrespectful, to engage in some of the disagreements. You’re going to be less likely to do that because you’re going to have the skills to make and keep friends. So I think that’s something that you’re definitely not going to see in the character development of programs, but in SEL you do,

Sara

For sure. And I love how you said, it’s not just about here’s the skill, right? It’s like we have to explicitly teach it, but then we have to give our students opportunities to practice. Behavior does not change immediately overnight, like, if we’re trying to teach a replacement behavior, like, that’s not an instantaneous thing. And I think it can be tempting as teachers just to be like, Okay, I’ve taught that. Why aren’t they doing it? The practice portion is something that we need to be, I think, very mindful of.

Abby

So true. I think that we can really think about behavior like academics in that aspect. If a kid doesn’t learn their sounds, you’re not going to make them sit at the wall at recess, right? You’re going to reteach and reteach and reteach. Same thing with behavior.

Sara

Yeah, I love that point. So as we get ready to start back to school, teachers are jumping into their classrooms. What are some easy things that teachers can do, really, from the start of the year, that can possibly prevent behavior problems in their classrooms?

Abby

Yeah, so let’s start with a really easy one that anyone can do. So the first one is welcoming activities, which can be a lot of different things, but the easiest one you can do is greet students by name as soon as they come in. I can even think about I had a high school teacher, and I have to tell you something about me is I hate English. I was so bad at it. I am a math person all the way. And this was AP English, and I remember not loving the subject, but I loved the class, because he was so aware, and he did a lot of these SEL things. And every day, he would stand in front of his door and greet us by name. If I were a jersey the day before, he’d be like, Oh, how was the game last night? And just those small deposits really help build the relationship, and it sets the tone for the day too. You know, we I know I don’t always wake up on the right side of the bed. I have two little kids. Sometimes I don’t get a lot of sleep, and there are times that I’m up from five o’clock in the morning till nine when the kids come in, and that’s a lot of the day that’s already happened. So we’re not blank slates, but having some of these welcoming activities can help set the tone for the day, help reset and just connect with the kids as well.

Sara

I love that, and I love how you refer to it as making a small deposit. That’s not something that’s massive, that’s not a huge event or something, but doing that consistently can really make those small deposits and have an impact over time. And I love that you mentioned as adults, obviously, we have so much going on in our lives, but I also think it’s so important to recognize that, like, there’s probably students in our classes that wake up really early and maybe have to share a room with siblings, or have to help out at home, and they come to school and have already had a portion of their day happening. And if we can do anything to really help them, sort of reset that just sets the tone for the rest of the day. So I love that simple, easy, but has a big impact.

Abby

Yeah, yeah. And I think I just want to give one example of this kid, because I think about this all the time when I give this recommendation. So I was working with a student who had a significant history of trauma, and he still had to go back to his home every night, right? So he had to, he was going back to that not great environment. And the only time that he had positive interactions, appropriate positive interactions, with adults, was at school. And I watched him enter, and he came to the classroom, and he put his stuff right down in the center, and no one acknowledged him. Because we’re busy, you know, I get it. But he had a huge smile on his face, and I just watched him, and it sort of started to get smaller and smaller and smaller. And then he left the room, put his stuff away, came back in, went to his desk, still was like looking around. No one said anything to him. And then he started ripping up his paper because he was frustrated. And guess what? He got attention for that. So obviously that’s not the attention that he wanted. But I think it really is so important, when you’re kind of like an outside observer it’s easier to see, but he went 10-15, minutes without anyone saying, I’m so glad you’re here, it’s great to see you. Especially someone who comes from such a terrible home life, it’s really important to greet them with a smile and just being excited to see them.

Sara

Yeah, just the acknowledgement that we are glad you’re here today. I think that can go such a long way. I love that example. What other ideas do you have for teachers?

Abby

Yeah, so another one, I mean, this might sound easy, but using engaging strategies. So things like getting the kids on board, and when you’re in your lessons, if you have kids that are more engaged, obviously you’re going to have less behavior. So how do you do that? You can do a lot of different things, response cards. So if you have an index card and on one side yes and one side No, and you have the kids hold up the answers of yes and no. And the reason that is so powerful is that instead of having kids raise their hand and only one kid answer, everyone has to use their brain. Everyone has to be thinking. Because I vividly even remember as an elementary kid, raising my hand, and once someone else was called, I was like, oh, cool, I’m offline, I don’t have to think, they’ve got it. And if we want to get more kids on board, this is something you can do.

Think, Pair, Share – I think that’s something that’s pretty common. You know, you think about it, you share with a partner, and then you share it out. That’s just an easy way that doesn’t take any prep, like the response cards to get kids more engaged.

I also love four corners where you – Yeah, you’re shaking your head, you’re like, Yeah, I know. Put different answers around the room, and the kids go to them. And that’s also such a great way to get kids moving. I think about I have a three year old son, and he is very busy, and I think about how much sitting there is in today’s classrooms, and this is a great way, if you have those kids that are always moving, to get them moving in an appropriate way.

And then the last one that I do love, this one, but it depends on the support you have in your classroom, is a Nearpod. It’s an app that you can use with like an iPad, and the kids can really be easily engaged and answering questions, and you also can see who’s answering them correctly and stuff. So I really love that one, too.

Sara

That’s awesome. I’ve never used Nearpod. I used Kahoot when I was in the classroom, which maybe is similar? Yeah, okay, cool. But I love those suggestions, and I did. I remember when I was in the classroom, we did a lot of like, turn and talks, kind of for that reason, where it’s like, okay, I’m asking a question and only one student is answering. That means 24 students are disengaged then during their response, whereas if we’re doing a turn and talk or those response cards, then we’re getting everybody engaged. And I think those, all of those suggestions, it’s one of those things where I think once teachers get in the habit of doing those, it’s so easy to incorporate. This doesn’t require any extra planning. It doesn’t require anything extra to prep. You just have to teach your students how to do Four Corners, or how to do, I Think, Pair, Share, and then it’s like you can bring it into every single lesson that you work on.

Abby

Every single lesson. Yeah.

Sara

I love that. All right, any other suggestions or strategies for teachers?

Abby

Yeah, the last thing I think that is just really important is that you have to teach the skills through modeling them yourself. So it sounds sort of, I think, that where a lot of teachers get hung up is they’re like, this shouldn’t be in school. You know, this isn’t something we should have to teach. And I understand that when we were going to school, that might have been done more outside of the classroom, but the reality is, is they’re just not learning it, and if we are not teaching it, we’re just gonna give ourselves more of a headache, really, in the long run. So really just teaching them how to do these things. And it’s not just coping skills, it’s how to be a good friend, how to set goals. And with this setting goals is what to do with failure. I see that that’s something that kids and adults really struggle with. I know that myself, I don’t think I was ever really taught what to do with failure, and it’s hard. Even self care – what that really means – it’s not just a spa day, but like really taking care of yourself and making sure that you are replenishing your own bucket. And this list can go on, but these just need to be, like, really explicitly taught to the students. And that can be done through conversations. I mean, if you have a curriculum, but it can be really just done through conversations, naturally in the classroom.

Sara

Yeah, I always loved trying to tie any of these things into – we read a lot of picture books in my classroom, and I’m like, picture books are one of the best ways to teach relationship skills, like self, all of those things, because characters are always learning a lesson in the story. And you can connect to that lesson whatever it is, whether it’s overcoming challenges, like dealing with failure. Picture books are such a great way to do that. But I love the reminders, because I do think this to some degree requires a mindset shift for teachers, because it’s like, yeah, maybe 5-10, years ago, we didn’t have to do this. And so, like, the world has changed just with social media, internet access, I think even things since covid, just things are different. And so doesn’t do teachers any good to say, I shouldn’t be doing this. This isn’t part of my job. I think we just need to embrace the fact that when we are teaching academics, we are teaching human beings, and we need to make sure that we’re addressing the whole child and giving them support in all areas, not just our content specialist area.

Abby

Totally agree. Totally agree.

Sara

Yeah. So, even though we need to be doing these things and even these strategies that you’ve shared, I know it can be challenging for teachers, and I think especially having that sort of just okay, this is one more thing I have to do or not feeling like they have enough time. So do you have any advice or encouragement for teachers who maybe have never focused on SEL before and they’re just jumping into it. They recognize the importance of it, but they’re like, Okay, I’m just getting started. Help me out.

Abby

Yeah, totally don’t get overwhelmed. My first suggestion would just be to take it slow. And we talked about just by starting with greeting kids by name. That is something that can be so easy, and you’re like, Oh, I thought that it would have to be more. That is where you can start. And that is totally okay. And when you’re ready to take on more, I suggest I mentioned Castle going to their website, because they have so much good free stuff, and they have this one link, and I’ll give it to you to leave for the listeners, is they have this playbook that’s the three signature practices, which is what we kind of talked about with the strategies. But they go really into depth with hands on, things that you can do in your classroom, and they’re really easy to implement, but it gives you really actionable steps, which I think that sometimes that’s, that’s just what you need. You need an actionable step. Not just, oh, it’s a great idea, you know, but what do I actually do? What do I actually say? So that is going to be really helpful, and it’s totally free.

Sara

Yeah, awesome. We’ll definitely link to that in the show notes. And I think that is, like so many teachers to your point at the very beginning, we’re high achievers, we’re perfectionists, right? We want to get everything right, and I think it is so important for us to remind ourselves we all start somewhere and not getting overwhelmed by what we want our perfect SEL classroom to look like, but just start small and take some action steps. Abby, this has been so great. I am so glad that you came on. Just the content and the strategies and everything you shared has been so helpful, and I know it’s really going to help teachers as they get ready to start their school year again. How can my audience connect with you after this episode if they want to continue learning from you?

Abby

Yeah, yeah. This has been so much fun. I love to talk about behavior and SEL so thanks for having me. You guys can find me at mrs.mosmodifications.com – is my blog where I share lots of information. Or you can find me on all social media Mrs. Mos Modifications. And I want to leave you with one little freebie that I use that is visual calming strategies, and they can fit in like a little task box. It’s super hands on, and kids love to use that. And it’s just one thing that you can add. You can either teach it whole group. You can give it to kids to keep in their desks. You can put it in your calming corner if you have that. It’s really flexible for things that you can use.

Sara

That’s awesome. We will definitely link to that in the show notes as well. So again, Abby, thank you so much for coming on. This was so fun to have you today.

Abby

Thanks for having me.

Sara

Thanks so much for joining me today. If you enjoyed today’s episode and are finding value in this podcast, it would mean the world to me if you subscribe and leave a five star positive review. This helps me spread the word to more and more teachers, just like you. Don’t forget to join me over on Instagram @thestellarteachercompany, and you can also find links and resources from this episode in the show notes at stellarteacher.com. I’ll see you back here next week.